India Epilogue

India is a huge country and in the month that we were here, we barely scratched the surface. We discovered that we didn’t like the noisy and crowded big cities, so we spent most of our time in more manageable smaller towns. We spent some time in the north as well as the south. We heard many tongues being spoken – Hindi, Bengali, Tamil, Nepalese – but fortunately almost everyone we came in contact with understood some English. We saw the wealthy, educated and Westernized India as well as the poorest shanty towns. And despite all the stories we’ve heard, we never got the dreaded "Delhi Belly" even once. But before we take off for Singapore, here are a few random thoughts about India.

The first thing we had to get used to in India was the “head bobble.” Often, when we asked a question we would get a response in the form of a head shake that kind of looked like a “no.” Soon we realized that what we thought was a typical USA head shake was really a “head bobble.” And the meaning behind the head bobble was not “no,” but rather “yes” (or “ok” or “no problem”). Be warned, the head bobble is rather contagious. By the time we left India, we were doing it as well.

A little harder to get used to is Indian street etiquette. On the first day in India, we saw some expert spitting and pissing on Kolkata’s streets. It seems Indian men have had a lot of practice spitting. The spit always seems to come out of the spitter’s mouth with great force and in almost a straight line. This also allows the spitter to aim the spit with great accuracy. Almost as admirable was an act of tissue-less nose blowing that was done with almost the same level of expertise. I’m pretty sure not a drop landed on the nose-blower’s clothes. Not surprisingly, men in India like to piss outside just like in the USA, and they’re not shy about it either. But how to do the same in the crowded streets of a big city without exposing oneself? Well, there’s the squat technique. Apparently, if you squat facing a wall, you can pull it out at just the right angle so that passersby can’t see anything and you can happily piss away even as people are walking by. Fortunately, India also has a tradition of removing shoes before entering a house. And I’m just guessing, but women must not drink as much water or they just know how to hold it in because we didn’t see a single woman peeing in the streets.

India is a very crowded country, so standing in queue is a fact of life. But I didn’t realize that one must also protect one’s place in queue with great resolve. Indians are very skilled in the art of queue cutting. It’s done almost like a magic trick. In a blink of an eye, someone could slip right in front of you leaving you to wonder how it happened. The several times I left myself open to this sleight of hand, I noticed that the act is performed like a well-rehearsed dance routine. No eye contact is made, and there’s an air of innocence around the performance as if the choreographed body language was saying, “Gosh, I didn’t know you were standing in line. Why I would never cut in front of you if I knew. No way. But thanks for letting me in anyway.”

In the USA, we’re used to having electricity 24/7. Not so in India. Daily power outages are common in India, especially in the afternoon. This fact of life is so routine that almost all hotels have battery-operated UPS backup systems. In fact, the electrical wiring has been designed with this in mind as at least one circuit is hooked up to the UPS system so that some electricity is available for guests at all times. As for stores, all their computers are also on the UPS system so that shoppers can continue to check out even if the power goes out. Very smart, indeed.

Bollywood movies are often over 3-hours long, so having an intermission makes sense. However, when shorter Hollywood movies or other imports are shown in Indian cinemas, there’s also an intermission regardless of the length of the film. Of course we were caught by surprise when we went to the local cineplex and the lights went on in the middle of the movie -- during a critical scene no less. I suppose for practical purposes, this convention makes sense as moviegoers will have an opportunity to get refills on popcorn and allow the theatre concession stand to make some money. Apparently there’s some controversy around this issue as Indian audiences like their intermissions and are fighting to keep them. While we were in India, history was being made as the new film Dhobi Ghat was being released “without interval” and it was big news.

Being in India is a life-altering experience. Without a doubt, our eyes were opened wide and it's going to take while to integrate this experience.